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 Please tell me how this sounds

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thgdmgirlxoxo

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Posts : 3589
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Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 17

PostSubject: Please tell me how this sounds   Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:41 am

On like, the second day of school, I have to write a persuasive essay on the book, Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie and I am writing a practice essay because this is really important and I am going to write something a lot like this, so I want to hear other people's opinion. Please tell me what I need to fix up and if I did well. Also, check for any grammar, spelling, punctuation, vocabulary or any kind of mistake like that.

Dear Friend,
Are you tired of having to reading books that you don't like? Do you get bored easily and quickly need to be well-entertained? If you are, then go head off to the bookstore because Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie is such a good book, that they are selling copies by the second! This book is very funny, suspenseful and teaches so many good lessons, that it is unbelievable!

The first reason of why you should read the book Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie is because it is funny. One example on how it is funny is on page 47, when Steven is trying to tell Jeffrey why he is not going to have a black eye forever by saying things such as, "If you did, all of the streets would be covered with people who look like raccoons with their black eyes. Another example of how this book is funny is on page 158, when Jeffrey says that Steven was wearing 'man perfume' just for Renee, and Steven says that it is cologne and called him monkey boy. My final example of how this book is funny is on page 249, when a lot of people are at Steven's concert and Jeffrey screams "YEAH STEVEN!!!!!!!!!" every time Steven hit a drum.

The second reason of why you should read Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie is because it is suspenseful. One example of why it is suspenseful is on page 17, when Jeffrey falls off the stool and his nose starts bleeding nonstop and it got so bad that Jeffrey had to be taken to the hospital. Another example of why it is suspenseful is on page 75, when Jeffrey comes back to the doctor and Steven is told that he has cancer and only has a little bit over fifty percent chance of living. My final example of how this book is suspenseful is on page 260, when Jeffrey gets very sick at Steven's concert.

The last reason of why you should read Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie is because it teaches many good lessons. One good lesson that it teaches is family comes first, because when Steven's family is broke, Steven decides to quit drum lessons to save money for his family. Another good lesson that it teaches is to always stick with your family, especially when they are going through a hard time. My final example of a good lesson that you will find in Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie is instead of getting angry and upset over things that you can't change, try to change the things that you can change.


This proves that you must read the book, Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie.

Sincerely,
Samantha

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